Moody

I've been moody this weekend. I just..well I can probably label it as the unproductive, saddest, moody weekend I've ever had all my life. Well, who wouldn't when your high expectation are crushed and stepped onto the ground. /sighs a thousand of time/
Umm..its probably because of me, being the usual overthinking self but..I do think its rational to be moody and sad like this. To me, a promise is a promise and whenever someone broke it, it'll hurt me to the core. I am that type of person. They should at least inform me that they are not coming, not keep me waiting, expecting but... sad and turned down at the end of the day. It's been months... I have feelings...even if I am their daughter. Still..I am a human.
Honestly, I am tired. Tired with this..tired with everything. I just hope, at least once..I could run away from all of this..even start a new life. Sometimes, I cried but no one realize that. I keep on smiling but no one knows what's in my heart.
I am too upset that I felt like ignoring their texts, calls or even replying them in Facebook. Why bother asking when they already know the answer.
I hope...I'll have productive weekdays. I know it'll be very tiring but at least, I could forget everything for a while.
Going to sleep now.
Gnight~

Just a piece of randomness

It's been a while since I wrote and I admit it that my writing are not as good as before. My own fault, but I've promised myself at the start of this year that I would try and start to write again and it took long for me to gather the strength and push away my laziness, linger around my blog. It's March 2014 already how freaking fast the time flies I didn't even realize it~

Hey I am 20.

I am not a teen anymore..really. The thought of not being 'teen' anymore sometimes made me afraid of the things that await me in the future. It has been hard these two and three months, gobbling books, drowning in lots and lots of assignments and its just a small baby steps towards my ambition. I am not even in Medical Degree or MBBS yet. I never thought of giving up, yet but I am afraid that I might, sooner or later. I do questioned myself that whether I am taking the right steps? or maybe I should just quit and take something that I know I could carry..well in the end, I decided that, there is no fruits without effort. I've gone this far, I couldn't just stop and make a U-turn again. When there is a will, there is a way and Allah never test His people beyond their abilities.

Well, I am not smart enough. It's not that I am not smart it's just, I need MORE and MORE efforts than what I used to give and what other people do. That's why, I was a bit frustrated with my Semester 1 result. I've never studied that hard before... and after being sad for half of the day, I realized that Allah just want me to put DOUBLE or maybe TRIPLE efforts to what I did on my Semester 1 for this Semester 2.

And I am questioning myself right now, right here.

WHERE IS THAT EFFORT, NAJWA? WHERE?

STOP PLAYING AROUND, DROP ALL OF THE NONSENSE YOU'VE BEEN DOING AND GEAR UP FOR SEMESTER 2!!

so yeah. That's my bable for tonight. Hope to see you again.